Dear Sara.

P/S : Entry ini terlalu terus terang penceritaannya. Nda suka, jgn baca. :)

Semalam terdetik hati buka Facebook. Last aku buka pun 29 Disember 2012.

Bila buka, tergerak hati stalk FB dia. Bestfriend. Yg memang sangat lama tidak tahu khabar berita.

Scroll scroll kebawah aku nampak ini :

Sedih tahu. Aku fikir memang aku dilupakan sudah. Sampai satu hari aku fikir

rasa mahu putus asa sudah untuk jaga hati sendiri yakinkan yang semua akan pulih semula satu hari nanti.

So, I don't know what else I want to do, and this is my reply :

"Assalamualaikum. Dear Bestfriend, 

Alhamdulillah, Ibu and me was fine and stay healthy, but as usual once in a month I'll having my P.P. Although it's hurt, but I try to be strong to face my exam. :( So how are you too? Are you fine? I hope everything's okay without me. :') Pernah satu hari aku terfikir untuk tulis surat utk kau, poskan untuk kau. Tapi, aku biarkan saja surat itu dalam buku. Aku batalkan niat. So, old skool me. :p Do you still remember that one person story that I'll always share with you? That one person that always I care of even though he always makes me sick and sad? I know you still remember. :) He said to me once that he was ashamed when our friends knows that I contacted him, call him, and texting him. I don't know what his reason, tp adakah aku terlalu teruk sampai orang rasa mcm tu dgn aku? I think it's time for me to let go enough everything that always makes me hurt. Mustahil ada orang yang gembira bila dengar orang cakap macam tu, especially kawan kita sendiri. Especially orang yang...hurmm, lupakan. It's just me, stupid enough to think that everybody likes to be friends with me. Enough with that guy stories. :') 

Pernah sekali aku bagitau kwn kita,J_A benda yang menyedihkan ni mungkin akan lebih berkesan kalau aku avoid semua orang dalam lingkungan kawan-kawan kita ni. Termasuklah dorang semua. I'd try, I'd avoid you, I'd avoid him, them, our friends, and also my other best friends. Although it's hurt, I'm just pretend to be strong everyday. Counting days back to Sandakan but I don't want to meet everybody. I'm afraid that I will hurt when I accidently keep up with our old friend just to ask them how you are, and how he was, are you doing well, are the guy doing well? But I know, it'll only makes me hurt when I try to avoid everyone. 

Now, just give me time. To accept everything. Aku rasa pun lebih baik begini. Rasanya. At least, I know I've done a thing to make this friendship turn back like the old time, but I know, at this time, it's not the right time to make that happen. :') Just give me time. Just like you, I've been through so many hurt. Yg pernah aku ceritakan dan yang tidak pernah aku ceritakan. Now, we just go with the flow. Lepas kita sudah usaha, kita berdoa, kita serahkan kepada yang Maha Mengetahui. :')

I just want to forget all the bad things in my life right now. I think I don't deserve to be with everyone that I loved. :'3

Jaga diri Sara, saya sayang anda. You too. Eat well, sleep tight. Balik Sandakan sudah kan, makan banyak banyak. Memang nampak kurus sudah kau tu, tolongla ambil lemak ku ni separuh. Nda tahan menanggungnya lama-lama. Hihihi. I know you strong. Like me. ^^ InsyaAllah, panjang umur, ada kesempatan InsyaAllah akan berjumpa lagi di satu masa yang Allah tetapkan. Kita merancangkan, Allah yang tentukan semuanya dan Allah jua lah sebaik baik perancang. Sayang anda Lillahi Taala. Doakan kejayaan dan kebahagiaan bersama di dunia & akhirat. One more thing, pray for me to have enough sleep and not think hardly about this, okay? Heeee :') Kirim salam mama. Assalamualaikum."

Minta maaf untuk ayat yang panjang berjela-jela. Sesungguhya jika dikumpulkan lagi banyak sangat benda yang mahu dikongsi. Tapi cukuplah untuk kali ini. Sekadar reply surat Facebook Sara. :')

"Always be strong enough to let go, and be smart enough to wait for what you deserve."